when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
