what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
