I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
