my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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