How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
