She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
