Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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