finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
