she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
