Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
