Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
And then my night got REAL pukey
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
