Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
