he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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