fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
