Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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