Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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