is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We need a shit load of segways right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
