I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
