i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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