I accidentally had phone sex last night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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