I want to walk on stilts...naked
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
vagina is talking i cant
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
