I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
