worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Randomize
