so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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