it's too hot outside to masturbate.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
