drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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