ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
