wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
