I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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