just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
