Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
