She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
