Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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