Will you blow on my dice?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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