i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
