Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
pray to the hookup gods
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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