I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
