You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
