I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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