I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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