He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The uberlube is also flammable
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
