Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
