i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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