nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
please come you make the beer taste better
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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