Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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