You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
