i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
