She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
