Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
