Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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