And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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