I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize