im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize