i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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