ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
