Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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