i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize