I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
