was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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